Building a Better Relationship With Your Leader

After studying more than one million managers across 100,000 organizations, the Gallup research firm¹ found that managers — more than any other factor — influence team engagement and performance. In addition, the research findings concluded that managers are responsible for 70% of the variance in evaluating team engagement. These supporting statistics from the same research demonstrate why the relationship between an employee and their direct manager is so critical.

When managers and their employees actually apply their strengths to their work and lives every day, their employees are:

The findings should come as no surprise to anyone who has spent time working for a great manager, or a terrible manager (or both). However, the research goes on to say that there is no right formula to build an ideal manager.

So as an employee, what is it that you can do to influence your own relationship with your manager or leader?

Let’s start with three examples of management styles and how those management styles impact their employees. (I’ve personally experienced all three of these types of management myself.)

Understanding the differences between management styles

This manager/leader is primarily focused on the high-level goals and needs of the organization and making sure that their team and team members align to those goals. Because of this strategic focus, there is no time or interest spent on individual team members and their day-to-day needs.

The analogy I would use here is that this is a management style where you are in essence thrown into the deep end of a swimming pool every time there is a new challenge or issue for the company to address. As an employee, your responsibility is more than just not drowning — rather, your job is understanding how to adapt to the new challenge and ensuring you are raising your hands to surface issues and ideas as they come up. Directions are given frequently at a high level, and the expectation is that you will take this directional input and determine how to best produce solutions that meet the needs of the team, department, and company overall.

When This Style Works:

• This management environment is ideal for someone who is independent and enjoys problem solving.
• The management style enables employees to leverage a great deal of autonomy to make their own decisions and determine how to adapt to changes quickly.
• It is also well-suited for a confident person who is comfortable raising their hands when something needs to be addressed.

When This Style Creates Conflict:

On the other hand, an employee who is resistant to change, quieter in nature (especially about raising red flags), and who prefers a status quo environment may find themselves uncomfortable on a regular basis.

How to Adapt to This Conflict

First, think about your work style. What do you need to adapt more positively to better work with your manager’s style?

• If your manager provided more details, or involved you earlier in the change process, or explained how it would affect your role/day-to-day activities, would that make you feel less resistant?
• What assurances or details from your manager do you think would help when there is a situation outside of the norm?
• What guidance could your manager provide that would help ensure you are going in the right direction?
• What else could you or your manager do to compromise?

Once you think about these questions, schedule time with your manager (or request some extra time in your next 1:1) to discuss.

This leader is defined more as a loner from a management perspective. They may be highly extroverted and social in nature, but they do not like telling other employees what to do. Instead, they sporadically ask their employees what they are working on and explain to those same employees what types of initiatives and tasks they are working on themselves. In some cases, the leader may not even take the time to ask what their employees are doing and just talk about themselves.

Teams that operate in this type of environment do not have any overarching goals or strategies to guide them. Instead, the focus is making sure that the day-to-day operations of the team keep moving without hiccups. There may be comfort in knowing that disruptions are seldom, and complacency is common, but there can be discomfort not knowing what is really happening on the team and how the team is helping the broader organization reach its goals. Communication on team issues and team performance is rare.

When This Style Works:

• Like the directive management style, this leader is likely to be a better fit for employees who like autonomy and independence.
• The big difference in the styles is that these employees will not have direction, or challenges sent their way by their manager.
• Without any goals to react to, employees will be responsible for creating their own priorities and focus areas for their time.
• Employees who like the status quo are happiest here because they won’t have to worry about change or challenges coming their way.

When This Style Creates Conflict:

Employees who want to feel more integrated with the team and company will experience frustration.

How to Adapt to This Conflict

First, think about your work style. What do you need to adapt more positively to better work with your manager’s style?

• A simple approach here is to ask your manager for goals/priorities/direction. While they may not offer it up initially, you can always ask for more clarity.
• Likewise, ask to be updated on company initiatives or events that will help you excel at your job.
• Recommend a bi-weekly or monthly team call so everyone can provide clarity on what they are working on and potentially collaborate.
• What guidance could your manager provide that would help ensure you are going in the right direction?
• What else could you or your manager do to compromise?

Once you think about these questions, schedule time with your manager (or request some extra time in your next 1:1) to discuss.

This manager feels much more comfortable in the details. Common behaviors would include asking employees to share all written drafts of content, slides, ideas to be surfaced in meetings, etc., with the manager directly so that they can review and refine those deliverables in detail before they are finished and shared with other team members or departments. This behavior leads to a slower-paced environment for change and diminishes control from employees for their contributions.

Think of this almost as an opposite analogy from the directive leader. In this case, the manager wants to jump into the shallow end of the pool and swim along with you, providing step-by-step input on each action taken. (Personally, I had this type of leader who wanted to join me on a virtual meeting to walk through and assemble 10 slides for a “low stakes” presentation with me. We spent over two hours working on unnecessary details like font choices, background imagery, and precise wording for each bullet point in unity.)

When This Style Works:

• Someone who likes to just focus on implementation and is happy to avoid decision making would be most comfortable here.
• They can feel safe that anything shared will have already been reviewed and revised by the leader, which minimizes risk.

When This Style Creates Conflict:

• Someone who enjoys autonomy or independence will feel frustrated and constrained by not having any sense of ownership or control over their own workload.
• They will feel challenged knowing that their ideas and contributions always end up being their leader’s ideas and contributions, which stifles personal growth.

How to Adapt to This Conflict

First, think about your work style. What do you need to adapt more positively to better work with your manager’s style?

• Ask for one (or more) independent projects that you can work on to have some sense of independence.
• Can you think of a way that you and your manager could divvy up tasks?
• How could your manager include you in the contributions/recognition?
• How does their style affect your performance/attitude/behavior?

Once you think about these questions, schedule time with your manager (or request some extra time in your next 1:1) to discuss. For a micromanager, it will be hard to give up control, and they may not even realize the extent to which they are over-controlling. Discussing how their style affects you could open the door for compromise.

Next Steps

Once you think you have an idea of your leader’s style, you can then reflect on where your thinking and styles align with your manager/leader, and where they differ. That can guide you to determine where you can adapt your style when working with your manager, and show opportunities to try to discuss those larger areas of difference in style where conflicts may arise.

Fortunately, there are several ways CPL can help. An Individual Development Program can help you adapt to your leader’s style. Alternatively, if you are a leader reading this post, our Manager Effectiveness or Optimizing Team Environment Team Performance Programs include initiatives that will help engage your team and foster ways to work with your style and theirs. Connect with us today to customize program topics based on your needs.